Opening Statement: Prosecuting Desmond

This opening statement was written by James Girvin, a student at Texas A&M University. It is based on characters in Maurice Braoddus’s Buffalo Soldier, published in 2017.

 

Critical Introduction

There were so many options for this project but after an afternoon of planning, coming up with my idea was not as hard as I first anticipated. An opening statement at the beginning of a trial is one of many aspects that must be delivered perfectly. As a lawyer one would want the jury to be engaged and interested in what is being said so that hopefully by the end of the case the ruling will fall in your favor. For my project, I have decided to use Buffalo Soldier by Maurice Broaddus to convey the argument that Desmond was never sent to protect Lij and instead kidnapped him to use the boy as leverage in the conflict between politics and religion. 

My overarching intention for this piece was to challenge the commonly accepted idea that Desmond was sent to protect Lij from an enemy. Instead, I wanted to argue the idea that Lij was kidnapped by a dangerous stranger who craves power and dominance. I thought that this would be interesting because literature to me is about interpretation. Sure, there are commonly accepted ideas and themes in every piece, but an author wouldn’t write if there was only one correct answer. That would be boring. Essentially, I decided to write an opening statement to challenge the norm because I thought it would be fun to bring a new interpretation to the table that could spark interest in others. Additionally, I think that it is important to move away from a surface level reading of this text and dive more into a depth reading approach, since, after all this is what we have been studying all semester.

Aside from challenging what the book specifically tells us about Desmond and Lij’s relationship, I wanted to take this approach because of the strange way Lij hisses at Desmond when he tries to divert his attention from Cayt just before the start of chapter six. This left me unsettled and ever since I felt that there was something wrong with the situation between Desmond and Lij. Additionally, the cover art on the front of the book adds more support to the claim that Lij doesn’t want to be with Desmond. Desmond seems to be looking forward and Lij seems to be uncertain and uncomfortable as he walks along side of Desmond. It is as if he is searching for a way out.

When creating this opening statement, I pictured a jury as my intended audience. For me, the jury must be composed of a set of people that can develop sympathy for Lij relatively quickly over the course of the trial. As a result, out of the twelve people that serve on a jury I pictured most to be mothers from ethnic minorities. If this were a real court case, I would hope that the opening statement captured the attention of these individuals from the start so that they continue to be engaged throughout the trial. To capture the attention of the jury I made sure that the structure was clear and flowing allowing the opening statement to be spoken from the heart and not seem so rehearsed. I thought it was extremely important to make the jury feel like they were being spoken to and not lectured to. Additionally, I kept an ongoing theme by continually referring to Lij as a boy or child. By doing this the mothers on the jury should develop a sympathy for Lij and as a result will stay in support of my argument throughout the trial. I also wanted to build up suspense for the audience through the first few paragraphs so that by the time I reached the end I would still have their attention. I didn’t have to make too many adjustments when writing the opening statement. Besides working on telling a story there were few additional adjustments I had to make. Most if not all were minor and included dressing up the language and making it seem like Lij was coerced or tricked into leaving with Desmond.

I received most of my inspiration for this project by watching various opening statements on YouTube. Most, if not all, focused on a theme and telling a story so I made sure that I included aspects of each. I also noticed that they were relatively short and were important for giving the jury the first impression of each party in the case. Therefore, I spent some time making Lij seem innocent and Desmond seem wicked. The next thing I did was research the Texas Penal Code. The Texas Penal Code has every offense an individual can be charged with in Texas and the elements that constitutes each crime. Elements are what the prosecution must prove to get a guilty beyond a reasonable doubt verdict. This research was critical because if I didn’t understand kidnapping then my argument would have likely been invalid in a real court room. Furthermore, I found that Desmond would be charged with a more serious form of kidnapping because his case would involve taking someone with government information. Additionally, I found that while including evidence could be done, omitting it so that the jury can focus on one idea at a time is a more favorable approach.  

Opening Statement

Stay away from strangers. Never wander off. Everyday parents warn their children about the dangers of strangers in the real world. Kidnappers. Strangers who care only about themselves. Today’s case is about a stranger who stopped at nothing to take advantage of the life of an innocent child. The Defendant, Mr. Desmond Coke, is a Jamaican national and former espionage agent. For years the defendant has studied the conflict between religious leaders and politicians understanding the imminent war that lies ahead. As a result, he took a boy to use this child as leverage over two feuding parties promising safety to lure him in. Unfortunately, this boy fell for the defendants promises costing him his freedom.

It is our privilege to represent Jamaica’s bravest child, Lij Tafari. From the beginning of his life Lij has always lived with uncertainty of who he truly is and the power that he possesses. On one cool night, Lij was taken from his homeland of Jamaica by a man who would strike fear in anyone’s eyes. Wielding only a cane sword, he is known for being a relentless killer. This is a man who lives recklessly and never prepares to see tomorrow, so why would he have any business in wanting to protect a child? He doesn’t. Lij was just an element for leverage in a conflict he wanted no part of. Lij has done what any other scared child would have done when confronted by a mysterious man. He did what he was told. Unlike any other boy, Lij holds the answers for resolving a worldwide conflict and because of it his custody is invaluable to a stranger like the defendant.

Members of the jury I will be the first to tell you that the defense will say that Lij left voluntarily with the defendant. That he knew the defendant’s job was to protect him. However, they will not mention the nights that Lij did not approve of leaving. Or the times that he longed to escape. Lij was unaware of the consequences; of the dangers that existed ahead. He was just a boy. He left not realizing the greed and danger that the defendant posed to the wellbeing of them both. I’m here to prove to you that on this cool night in Jamaica, the defendant Desmond Coke kidnapped an innocent child to take advantage of the powers that he possessed.

First, he failed to gain adequate permission for taking Lij. Without parental consent and the inability for Lij to understand the complexity of his own situation, the defendant took advantage of this boy promising safety so that the defendant would gain individual power in a worldwide conflict. Second, the defendant knowingly and intentionally abducted Lij with intent to interfere with the progression of a government function. The evidence will show that this child holds valuable information in a conflict between political and religious officials as he was held captive by the defendant. Lastly, the defendant failed to both provide and release the victim in a safe place causing Lij to give up hope and live in danger while with the defendant.

Today, I expect the defense to argue that Lij voluntarily left with him understanding the consequences and potential danger ahead. But, you’ll see that this could not be further from the truth. He was just a boy. He had no idea about the potential dangers or even who the defendant was. All he knew was that not leaving would end his short-lived life. At the end of this trial you will find the defendant, Mr. Desmond Coke, guilty beyond a reasonable doubt of aggravated kidnapping.

 

Works Cited

  1. Movieclips. “The Devil’s Advocate (5/5) Movie CLIP – I Don’t Like Him (1997) HD.” YouTube, 17 July 2012, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DEX-5gM0P8I&list=PLwdiGDy7krKWE2u8KMG7UYWOIMfoYB6S6.
  2. Murphy, Jim. “Hoffman Cup 2013 – 4 Opening Statement by Defense.” YouTube, 20 November 2013, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lm2hwjFX45U.
  3. Rose, Charles. “Examples of Persuasive Opening Statements.” YouTube, 16 July 2012, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G6O51yZAOgA.
  4. Tex. Penal Code § 20.04 (a)(6).

Copyright 2018 James Girvin

Gone in a Matter of Hours

“Gone in a Matter of Hours,” is a fanfiction written by Faith Smith, a student at Texas A&M University. It is based on Otavia Butler’s “Speech Sounds,” a short story published in 1983.

 

Critical Introduction

In “Gone in a Matter of Hours,” I am exploring the character, Rye, from “Speech Sounds.” I intend to expand on Butler’s character and develop an interpretation of her life and who she was preceding the horrible epidemic. Rye’s story is worth exploring because she is the main character in “Speech Sounds,” yet Butler’s readers are given very little information about her past. Readers understand that Rye is frustrated with her inability to read or write, which was her passion as a teacher and a writer before the epidemic hit. She was angered to the point of willingness to kill another human because they were capable of something she was not because. It is also clear that Rye is lonely and eager for personal connections, but it is uncertain why she was so willing to trust a man she never met and take in children who were orphans.

“Gone in a Matter of Hours” will capture the value Rye placed on her relationships held so dear to her before the epidemic, explaining why Rye was so desperate to spark a relationship and recreate what she had lost. My story will explore the relationship Rye had with her children and her husband, and will capture her role as a mother and spouse. This too will clear up Rye’s immediate attraction and willingness to couple with Obsidian, a man she just met, and how the children in “Speech Sounds” pulled on her heart strings as a mother, clarifying the guilt she felt about leaving the children behind. Readers of Butler’s “Speech Sounds” know the epidemic affected her ability to read, but the readers have no idea how this earth-shattering epidemic started, what it was like when the disease started to take over, and most importantly, how this changed Rye’s life and made her feel. A story that explains what it was like when her family came down with the illness would help Butler’s readers to better understand why Rye is so frustrated and acts the way she does in her story. In order to truly know a character, we must understand the motivations behind their actions.

This story’s intended audience is Butler readers who have read “Speech Sounds.” The audience will remain in line with Butler’s audience, both being geared more toward adult readers. I hope my audience finds the answers to the questions they have regarding Rye and her past when the epidemic first began. “Gone in a Matter of Hours” will explain how the disease took over her family, and how it changed her perception of the world around her. They will also find out how her family died, and how this took a toll on her mental health.

 

Gone in a Matter of Hours

She had always enjoyed the smell, ever since she was a little girl. Nothing compared to the smell of a freshly printed, yet to be opened novel. Rye’s house always smelled like this. Her children and husband hated it, but it was her favorite thing. It reminded her of every character she had ever dreamt up, every story she had ever written. It brought her happiness…peace.

Rye walked into her house, greeted by fits of laughter from her two children, Alison and Noah, as they raced to hug her legs. Alison was a beautiful little girl, only three years old. She had long blonde hair, bright blue eyes and her laugher brought joy to everyone who heard it. Noah was much smarter than your average five-year-old, and he too had beautiful blonde hair and blue eyes.

“Hi, mommy! I missed you,” Alison squealed as she squeezed Rye’s leg tightly.

 “No, mommy, I missed you more!” Noah screamed as he pushed Alison off Rye’s leg to make room for himself.

Rye rolled her eyes and bent down to squeeze them tightly. It had been a long day. “Where is your father?” she asked them.

“He’s in the kitchen, mommy,” Alison squeaked as she ran into the kitchen.

Rye stopped to take a second to breathe in the familiar scent of home. She had been in Chicago at a teaching conference for UCLA professors for a week. She had missed the smell and comfort of being home.

“Mommy? Something is wrong with daddy,” Noah cried.

Terror took over Rye’s entire body. She wanted to run to them, but she was frozen. Her few moments of peace immediately turned into panic. She was terrified of what she would find when she turned the corner. Rye quickly snapped out of her trance and raced into the kitchen. She stopped dead in her tracks when she saw him.

At her feet, her husband, Luke, was staring up at her with pain in his eyes. He was shaking uncontrollably, looking at her desperate for help.

“Luke? What’s going on? What hurts? Tell me how to help!” Rye screamed. She eagerly awaited his reply, shaking his shoulders, but he just continued to claw at her legs, pleading for help. She bent down and tried to lift him, but his legs were limp. Luke grunted, obviously in pain. Rye was lost.

“Alison, Noah! Someone bring mommy the phone! Now!” she screamed.

Alison disappeared and came back with Rye’s purse. Rye dug around frantically looking for her phone. She picked it out of the bottom of her bag and called 911.

“Send help, please. Something is wrong with my husband and my kids are here. I think he might be having a stroke. He can’t speak to me and he doesn’t seem to be able to move his lower body.” She said to the operator. “Luke, look at me. Help is on the way you’re going to be okay.”

Fifteen minutes later, Luke was being rushed to the hospital in an ambulance with Rye and the children following in her Suburban. They lived only twenty minutes from the nearest hospital, but rush hour traffic on a Saturday night in downtown LA was always at a standstill, and she had no idea how long he had been like this before Noah found him.

“Please! Go faster! My husband cannot die today!” she screamed at the other cars, but they obviously couldn’t hear her. Rye refused to lose her husband. They had gotten married just six short years ago, and had just started a wonderful life together. She so desperately wanted to watch her children grow old alongside Luke. To grow old together.

As she was inching through LA traffic she couldn’t hold back tears as she thought about Luke. She couldn’t stop thinking about how she cannot live without him. She cannot be alone. Alison and Noah cannot grow up without a dad. Rye was head over heels for Luke, and she knew she would never find another like him. This could not be the end for them.

When they finally arrived at the hospital, Luke was rushed into a room, and Rye and the kids were told to stay in the waiting room. They didn’t need to see Luke in the condition he was in, as she knew his brain had been struggling to get oxygen for a very long time. As she sat in the waiting room with Alison and Noah asleep in her lap, she prepared herself for the worst. (expand on what it would be like without him)


Rye woke hours later to Luke’s doctor shaking her shoulders. “Ma’am, please come with me. We need to talk,” she said quietly.

Rye and the doctor stepped into the hall, away from the children, and by the look on the doctor’s face, Rye knew it was bad news. “Ma’am, I’m so sorry. We did the best we could, but we could not save your husband. He was suffering from the epidemic that just made its way into LA. Have you heard about it?” she asked Rye with sad eyes.

“Of course, I have heard about it, but I had no idea it had made its way into LA. When did this happen?”

“Only a few days ago. Your husband is one of two hundred cases that have been detected in the area so far. Almost all have been fatal. I am so sorry for your loss, but I have even more bad news.” The doctors face filled with remorse as she stepped back to lean against the wall, immediately filling Rye with terror. Rye crossed her arms and took a deep breath, bracing herself for the news that was coming next.

“This disease is extremely contagious. It will more than likely spread to anyone who has been in contact with your husband in the past two days. It will start with a headache, and within a few hours, the disease will start to affect its inhabitant’s communication skills. It affects every victim differently. It can impair one’s ability to speak, comprehension of speech, and literacy. It can also cause paralysis and can be fatal in most cases. I am so sorry, but I need you and your children to prepare for the worst.”

Rye’s head started to spin, and she fell to the floor. The doctor caught Rye as she began to sob. “I’ve been gone at a conference for a week! I didn’t even get to say goodbye to my husband, and now my children are going to be taken from me too?” she spat viciously at the doctor.

“Ma’am I know this a lot to handle. I cannot imagine what you are going through. I suggest you take your children home and make them comfortable. It is going to be a brutal last few hours for them.”

Rye collected herself off the floor and thanked the doctor. She slowly walked back to the waiting room, unsure of what she was going to tell her children. Her mind was filled with frustration and anger. How could the world be so cruel? Her husband was taken right from under her nose just as their life together was getting to the good parts, and now her whole world was going to be taken away in just a few short hours. It wasn’t fair, and she shook with rage.

When she returned to the waiting room, Alison and Noah were curled up in the chair together. “Come on, loves, it’s time to go home. Daddy will be spending a few nights here, but he will be home soon. We will come back to visit him tomorrow.” She picked them up off the chair and started to walk back to the car, a piece of her heart left behind in a body bag.


Rye carried Alison and Noah upstairs. As she placed them in bed, she knew they wouldn’t make it until the morning. Alison was already having trouble speaking to Rye, and Noah was complaining of a headache. She knew it was coming, but she was in no way ready to kiss her children goodnight as she knew this would be the last time. She sat at the foot of their bed and watched her children sleep for a while, the whole time silently hoping it would be easy and pain free for them.

She silently cried realizing all of the things she was going to miss about being a mother. She would never get to watch them play spots, graduate high school and college, get married and she would never meet her grandchildren. She would have no one to hug after a long day at work, or to take care of when they were sick or hurt. Rye knew her life as she knew it was ending, and she couldn’t bear it.

She became sick to her stomach the longer she sat, so she reluctantly kissed Alison and Noah goodnight for the last time, her lips lingering on their foreheads as long as she could bear. She felt nothing but guilt and anger as she turned off the light, and shut the door behind her. How can she just close the door on her dying children? How can she just stand by and do nothing knowing her children are suffering in the room above her? Why couldn’t she be the one getting sick? Alison and Noah had a whole life ahead of them.

Rye’s mind was racing, and the only thing she knew to do to clear her mind was to write. She walked slowly downstairs, and sulked to her desk in her study. She picked up her favorite pen and her empty notebook. As she went to write a story about the night’s events, she realized she felt as if she did not know how to write. She tried with all of her might to make sense of words on the page, but when she read over the few sentences she had written, she realized they were gibberish. She threw her pen and screamed at the top of her lungs in anger. She sat back in her chair, staring at her desk in disbelief. A few short hours ago, everything was perfect. She had the perfect job, husband and children, and now her world was crumbling in her hands. Everyone and everything that mattered to her was taken from her in a matter of hours by something beyond her control.

Rye knew what was coming. Sickness was coming for her. Her death was imminent. She walked to the living room, curled up on her couch with her notebook clutched to her chest, hoping she would wake in the morning to the sounds of her children’s giggles and the smell books.  

 

Works Cited

  1. Ameile, Castiel. “How to Write the Best Fanfic.”HobbyLark, HobbyLark, 12 June 2017, hobbylark.com/fandoms/How-To-Write-A-Good-Fanfic.
  2. MacGregor, Dax. “How To Format Dialogue.” First Manuscript, 25 July 2016, firstmanuscript.com/format-dialogue/.
  3. Totallyashipper. “The Re-Sorting Hat.” Worldless – My Meaning of Life – Emily David – Wattpad, Wattpad, 15 Feb. 2016, www.wattpad.com/story/56727875-the-re-sorting-hat.
  4. Trelogan, Stephanie. “How to Tell If Someone Is Having a Stroke.” Senior Care: Housing, Home Care, Community, Articles, Caring.com, 6 Feb. 2018, www.caring.com/articles/signs-that-someone-is-having-a-stroke.

 


Copyright 2018 Faith Smith

Speech Sounds II

“Speech Sounds II is by Ryan Wheat, a student at Texas A&M University. It is a fanfiction based on Octavia Butler’s, “Speech Sounds,” an SFF short story first published in 1983. 

 

Critical Introduction

On a late Tuesday night in April, I walked into my apartment, exhausted from a long day of procrastination. Subconsciously, I went through a mental checklist of things to do, but the only thing my deep fried brain could remember was to read “Speech Sounds” for my English 203 class. So I curled up in bed and read this short sci-fi story by Octavia Butler, in which I learned about a post-apocalyptic Los Angeles ravaged by disease. About midway through it all, I remember having the half-baked thought of: “wow, this is a lot like the Planet of the Apes universe. Just without the apes.” And to a large extent, I was onto something there. Both are set in dystopian California, have an epidemic decimate humans, and consequentially result in their loss of speech. Initially, I dismissed this thought – it was a cool connection, nothing more. But when my Professor gave my class the option to interpret a text through creative means in our next paper, I knew this was a concept I needed to pursue. The idea of fitting these two worlds together would be a great way for me to analyze not only how “Speech Sounds” ends, but explore some of the questions I was left with after reading it.

When writing this story, I had several key intentions: first, I wanted to fill in some of the gaps Butler left unanswered in her text. How was the disease released? What was Rye going to do with the kids? Why weren’t they affected by the virus? “Speech Sounds” is interesting because Octavia Butler does a lot of world-building, but doesn’t necessarily resolve many of these lingering questions. My idea was to use the Planet of the Apes universe to do so. Because of this, I decided to focus on a sequel instead of a prequel since the Planet of the Apes movies detail a lot of the stuff that happened before Butler’s story – namely, how the Simian Flu was released. If this was the same disease in “Speech Sounds”, it wouldn’t make sense to tell the readers something that had already been explained. Instead, I wanted to explore the characters of the kids. Who were they? How did they feel about Rye? What’s their backstory? All of these questions – and more – are answered in my sequel.

Secondly, I wanted to explore the relationships between Rye and the kids, because clearly at the end of “Speech Sounds”, she feels a maternal connection to them. This is evidenced by her thoughts when she realizes the kids can speak; she all the sudden sees herself as a “teacher”, a “protector”, and someone who can “keep the kids alive” (Butler, 107). Clearly, there is a maternal connotation for each of these duties because they all involve roles traditionally harbored by parents – the ability to teach their kids, protect them, and keep them safe. I expanded upon the relationship between Rye and the kids in my piece, and one example of this is the main character’s notion early in the tale that the girl equates Rye with their Aunt (who was their guardian). Others include the “good morning” Rye gives the boy in the truck (meant to emulate a parent’s loving wake-up call), her request for their check-ups to be given together (showing that she wants them to stick together like a family), and displaying the arc of the main character through his eventual understanding of Rye as a parental figure. Each of these in their own respects show the continuation of the thematic connection between Rye and the kids.

The third and final intention I had for my work was for it to ultimately be a love story. “Speech Sounds” at its core is a romance about the connection between Obsidian and Rye – the narrative is driven by how Rye comes to care for someone after years of solitude, loneliness, and mistrust of others. Because this is so important to “Speech Sounds”, I wanted my story to also revolve around learning to care for others. Instead of a romantic connection though, I spun it to be driven by familial connection. Between the love of their real parents, the love of their Aunt, and the love of Rye, this a recurrent theme in my piece for the children. While I masked the true point of the piece in the search for the parents of the children, the arc of my story’s plot is ultimately about the kids learning to care for Rye. This is meant to be in the spirit of Rye learning to love Obsidian in “Speech Sounds” – just without the tragic ending. By paralleling the two love arcs, I attempted to keep the sequel grounded in the text it’s based on.

When brainstorming for this story, I had a hard time deciding how to put everything together, so I read a fanfiction crossover of Harry Potter and Percy Jackson to learn how to link universes. This piece went about meshing things in a very different way than I did, but it still gave me some ideas about how to do it. The main takeaway I got from the fanfiction was how to stay true to each world while still creating my own unique story, and even then, that wasn’t easy. What I discovered was that it’s important to take aspects that people can recognize from both sources; this is the whole appeal behind a crossover. People want to see involvement from all their favorite characters, settings, and plotlines – but sometimes that could be a little over the top for my skill set. I decided to compromise by fitting only a select few elements together in a jigsaw fashion: the Simian Flu, the character of Ellie (from Dawn of the Planet of the Apes), and the final location of the tower (also featured in Dawn) within a continuation of the plot of “Speech Sounds”. Initially, I brought Ellie and the tower setting into the fold because I wanted to end the story with an iconic scene from Dawn of the Planet of the Apes that happens there. But by the time I got to that point in the writing, I realized that my piece was more about the dynamic between the kids and Rye than anything else. So I decided not to write that scene in – it would just distract from the focus of the story. Despite this, I kept both of those aspects in the narrative because they not only provide recognition for those who know the movies, but serve as a medium for the main character to discover why his parents left. If he had not been in that setting with Ellie, I don’t know how I would’ve gone about resolving that plotline. In this way, the research helped me weave together my narrative in a more cohesive manner. It is through it that I was able to understand how I wanted to build my story.

 

Speech Sounds II

“It’s all right. You’re going with us, too.” The woman gestured at the truck behind her. “Come on.” Seeing no reaction, she reached down and lifted Flinn and Jamie to the car, one child in each hand.

Flinn looked up at her sharply. The woman could speak? She was going to get them killed — that’s how Janet died. He swiftly covered her mouth with his hand. She was an adult. She should know better.

The woman moved her face away from him just as fast as he acted, which caught Flinn by surprise. Grown-ups usually moved slower than him, especially at her age. He looked down and noticed a shiny pin worn prominently on the woman’s vest gleam in the sunlight. It must be her name item. He squinted his eyes: it looked like some sort of wheat. Was her name really Wheat? What a weird name to go by.

“It’s alright to talk,” she whispered. “As long as no one’s around, it’s all right.”

The woman gently placed Flinn in the passenger seat. He smiled — Aunt Janet never let him ride shotgun. It was rare that people had cars, but their grandfather was a mechanic before the Simian Flu was released. He taught their family everything they needed to know to keep an old Corrolla running for the past 10 years. Each time Janet took the car out, Flinn dashed outside and jumped in the front seat. Since he wasn’t allowed to leave the house without an adult, going with her was always the highlight of his day. Flinn never managed to pull off riding shotgun though. “That’s a privilege for 12 year olds,” his aunt would say. “You, Mr. Flinn, can wait two years.” He’d promptly drop to the ground with a “hmph” and climb into the back.

Flinn had seen people killed before, so he didn’t go into shock after watching her boyfriend stab her to death. It wasn’t as though he could do anything about it: the man had arms the size of his legs. And yet, he couldn’t shake the sense that he should’ve stood up for her. Flinn never felt anything more than pity about death before, but something new had lodged itself in his mind – guilt.

Flinn shifted over in the seat to make room for Jamie. She would pitch a fit if she didn’t get to ride in front too. The woman leaned against the car window with a sort of weariness that seemed to be more than physical. Both Flinn and Jamie looked up at her inquisitively. Where was she taking them?

“My name is Valerie Rye,” she said. “It’s alright for you to talk to me.”

Flinn met Jamie’s eyes. Neither of them said a word. After a few moments of silence, Rye continued.

“What are your names?”

 Once again, a long pause hung in the air. A few crickets began their soft chant as the sun reached a low angle in the sky, cutting into the silence. Finally, Flinn spoke.

“My name is Flinn,” he said. He pointed to his sister. “This is Jamie.”

Rye smiled. “It’s good to meet you both.” It looked to Flinn as if she was on the verge of saying something more, but Jamie’s soft voice cut through.

“Who was the man with you?” she asked.

 The smile on Rye’s face vanished. It seemed as though she had to work up the courage to speak, but the words that came out were emotionless.

“He was a friend.”

Jamie nodded without saying anything further. Flinn was impressed at her restraint – she must have understood the pain behind those words. He looked up to see Rye slowly walk to the other side of the truck and sit in the driver’s seat. One twist of the key sent the engine into a short-lived sputter before roaring to life. She looked over at Flinn.

“Were they your parents?”

She must be referring to Janet and her boyfriend. He shook his head.

“Where are your parents?”

“San Francisco.” Jamie caught Flinn by surprise. They weren’t supposed to tell anybody. He shot her a look.

 “We don’t know that,” he said.

 “Yes we do. They live by the Golden Gate Bridge! That’s what Aunt Janet told us.”

Clearly Jamie felt a connection to Rye. Flinn wondered if she saw their Aunt in her. Rye looked at him.

“If your parents are in San Francisco, I should take you to them.”

Flinn thought about resisting further, but decided there was no point. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust Rye, he was just trying to do right by his parents. They told Flinn and Jamie not to go back. When the time was right, they’d come for them.

Flinn nodded at Rye. She let her foot off the break and rolled down the street as the last bit of sunlight was vanquished from the horizon. Jamie had already passed out from the long day, and Flinn figured he wasn’t far behind her.

“Why are your parents in San Francisco?” Rye asked.

“We used to live there,” Flinn said. He didn’t remember his mother and father anymore, but his aunt told him more about them.

“They were scientists. My dad worked in pharmaceuticals, and my mom was a vet. They were there when the disease broke out.”

“I remember when that happened,” Rye said.

“My mother was pregnant with me at the time, so I don’t know the world that existed before it. My aunt said that once the Simian Flu began to spread, my parents started working on a vaccine: each of their occupations together gave them the proper knowledge to fight it. After two years of no success, they decided it was too dangerous to be in San Francisco anymore – it was total anarchy. People were rioting, stores had shut down, and resources were limited.

They took us to our Aunt’s in LA, but couldn’t abandon their mission to vaccinate as many people as they could. They left us with her and her boyfriend 8 years ago and we haven’t heard from them since.”

“We’ll find them,” Rye said.

Flinn could tell there was something off about those words. They had a hollow ring that’s always there when adults say something they don’t believe. He wasn’t a kid anymore. He knew his parents were probably dead.

Flinn leaned his head against the seat and let the hum of the engine softly caress his ears as he drifted out of consciousness.


What woke Flinn wasn’t any sort of loud noise. There was no BANG, no dialogue that wrested him from his sleep, no reason that he should have woken. But he did. This happened once before, it was one of those memories he could feel squirming in his mind — like knowing someone’s face, but not being able to put a name to it. It kept slipping his grasp.

“Good morning, sleepyhead,” Rye said. Flinn looked up to see her warm gaze highlighted by the yellow sunlight. He flashed her a grin before contorting his body to stretch his aching muscles. His right arm rubbed against Jamie’s face, and she began to stir from her slumber.

The truck was sitting in an abandoned parking lot rife with cracks in the pavement, which were filled with growing weeds. Flinn looked up to see the lights laced thick with vines that gave the scenery a jungle-like mystique, and the Golden Gate Bridge shrouded in the distance by the morning fog.

“Where to?” Rye asked.

Across the lot, Flinn spotted something that looked like a person walking toward the truck. He pointed at the figure, then put a finger over his lips to send a clear message to his companions: don’t speak. The closer the shape got, the more Flinn began to question what it was. It didn’t walk exactly like a person; there was an off-kilter sway to its jibe, a bobbing from left to right as its knuckles nearly touched the ground from a standing position. Suddenly, it hunched over onto its hands and began to crawl. That’s when it hit Flinn – this was an ape. He had only read about them existing in captivity, so it was strange to see one in the wild. But Flinn was so relieved that he could speak, he didn’t think much of it.

“Aunt Janet only told us they had a view of the bridge from the back porch.”

Rye nodded. “I’ll start driving and see if we can find some sort of civilization around here.”

She started the truck and pulled out of the parking lot. As they made their way down the street, they saw it: a tower, standing tall in the midst of run-down buildings. The sound of cranes operating carried all the way to Flinn’s ears, and he looked at Rye to see she also heard.

“That was quick,” she said.

She pulled up to a checkpoint just outside the location, despite Flinn’s pleas. “If we are going to find your parents, we need to ask people about them,” she said. He understood her reasoning, but that didn’t make him feel any less in danger. As one of the guards stood up, Flinn bit his cheek hard – they had guns. He wanted to scream, to tell Rye to turn around, but he couldn’t risk speaking and enraging a man with a weapon. That happened once, and it got his Aunt killed. He would never make that mistake again. One guard walked up to the driver side window.

“ID,” he grunted.

The man could speak? Did that mean Flinn could talk?

“We don’t have any ID. We’re coming from LA to look for the parents of these two.” Rye nodded toward Flinn and Jamie.

“Hold on a second.”

The guard placed his hand to his ear.

“Hey. I got three requesting asylum. Two of them are kids.”

He made a choking sound with his throat, almost like a duck, before jettisoning a lugie onto the ground.

“They think their parents might be here,” he added as he looked up at Rye. No one in the car moved a muscle. Flinn felt his chest tighten as he watched the man pace back and forth.

“Yep. Alright.” The guard waved his hand, and the barrier was lifted. Flinn didn’t realize he’d been holding his breath, and let his chest deflate in one smooth motion. The man came up to the window again.

“You’ve been granted asylum. They’re going to ask you some questions when you get there and probably vaccinate you for some diseases that we don’t want spreading around. Just the basic stuff.”

“Thank you,” Rye said. The guard nodded.

“I hope you find what you’re looking for.”

The three of them were moved to separate rooms for their checkups. Flinn’s had white tile at one point, but years of neglect tainted it beige. The only furniture he could sit on was a table in the back that had a long piece of paper blanketing the surface, so he perched himself on it with a crunch.  Flinn worried that Jamie would be too scared to handle all of this by herself. She was only seven, and she hadn’t been alone before. That’s probably what Rye was thinking when she asked if all three of them could be checked together, but the people in charge thought otherwise. Flinn was glad they at least had her looking out for them. A sharp rap came the door as a woman walked into the room. She reminded Flinn of his Aunt – tall, brown hair, thin figure – and when she smiled at him, he felt safe.

“Hey,” she said. “My name’s Ellie. What’s yours?”

“Flinn.”

“Well, Flinn, I’m going to be doing some tests today to make sure you’re not sick. That way, we can fix what’s wrong without getting other people sick. Is that alright?”

Flinn nodded.

“Where are you from?” Ellie took out a q-tip and started swabbing his mouth.

“LA,” he said once she finished.

“You might’ve been born after this, but LA used to be where all the famous people lived.”

“Famous?”

“Yeah.”

“I don’t know that word.”

“It means a lot of people know who you are. It’s kind of a big deal. Everyone used to want it as a kid.” Ellie started filling a syringe with a clear liquid. “Have you been given a vaccine before?”

“I don’t know. My Dad did that for his job, though, so maybe.”

“All you need to know is that this won’t hurt a bit.”

Flinn nodded. “Can I ask you something?”

“Of course.”

“How come everyone can speak here?”

Ellie rubbed alcohol on his shoulder.

“There were two people,” she said as she inserted the needle into Flinn’s arm, “who made a vaccine.”

The prick in his shoulder sent shockwaves through his body – he was remembering something. It was right at the edge of his grasp. He closed his eyes and concentrated hard. This was the same memory he felt when he woke up.

Suddenly, Flinn was in a different place. It was dark, but a faint light shone through a window and cast itself onto some sort of carpeting. He felt oddly comfortable, as if he were wrapped in a cocoon of warmth. Where was he? Then it hit Flinn – this was his old room.

“Is he awake?” someone whispered.

“I don’t think so.”

“We have to do it now.”

“I know.”

The door slowly opened, and soft footsteps made their way to his side. Flinn couldn’t see their faces, but when the two figures spoke, he knew their voices. One reached down and gently shook him while the other began massaging his arm.

“We don’t have much time,” the figure said. “We’re going to give you something that will protect you. Just lie still and relax your arm.”

“Go away Dad,” Flinn muttered. “I’m trying to sleep.”

“This is important. Your mother is giving you a shot to keep you from getting sick.”

“Just relax,” she chimed in. “This will only take a second.”

Flinn felt a shooting pain in his shoulder as a needle was forced into his skin. He started to scream, but his mouth was quickly smothered by someone’s hand. He could faintly hear a shhhh over his whimpers, and a few seconds in, Flinn thought he detected one of them murmur “if he doesn’t quiet down, we’ll have the whole neighborhood attacking us.” But then, just as quickly as it happened, it was over.

“There we go. All done.”

They each bent down and kissed him on the forehead.

“We love you.”

Then Flinn was back with Ellie. He must have looked queasy because she stopped mid-sentence and gave him a look.

“Are you alright?” she asked as she removed the needle from his arm.

Flinn managed a nod.

“Anyways, like I was saying, there was a man and a woman who made a vaccine for it. They weren’t able to create it in enough time to save most people, but they did get it to the majority of those still alive after about 2 years of chaos.” Ellie chuckled a bit. “I say that like it isn’t still chaos.”

“What happened to them?”

“No one knows. Some think the people who didn’t get the vaccine killed them in a fit of rage, others say they are still out vaccinating people. I don’t buy that one though. I used to work at the Center for Disease Control, and there’s no way they have the resources to still be doing that.”

“What do you think?”

Ellie looked at him. It was clear she was thinking hard about what to say next.

“Can I trust you to keep a secret?” she asked.

“Yes.”

“Rumor has it they were last seen near the Redwoods north of the bay. I was in that area scouting to find a way to keep the power running here, and our group ran into a huge clan of apes that were like nothing I’ve ever seen. They were smart, united, and could speak like you and me. I don’t know what could’ve happened there with the apes, and I’m not one to speculate. But I do think it’s an awful big coincidence they disappeared in that spot.”

As Ellie continued her checkup process, Flinn’s mind wandered elsewhere. His parents were heroes. He should be feeling pride. Every kid wants to born to people who are famous – or so he was told. Yet, all he could think about was what happened to them. Were they really dead?

Rye rushed in after Ellie finished and smothered Flinn in an embrace that seemed to comfort her more than him. “Are you alright?” she asked, pulling back to look at him.

Flinn stayed seated on the table, unmoving, as she fretted over him. He wasn’t too pleased with the touching since Rye wasn’t his mom or his aunt, but she was the closest thing Flinn had to a parent now. His real parents might have run into trouble with the apes, but they hadn’t been a part of his life in a while. They weren’t here for him now – Rye was. She had become his protector. And after losing three parental figures, he didn’t want to turn away a fourth.

“Everything’s going to be okay,” she whispered into his ear as she wrapped her arms around him again.

This time, Flinn notched his head on her shoulder and welcomed her warm embrace.


Copyright 2018 Ryan Wheat

Written Silence

“Written Silence” is by Ashlee Havlak, a student at Texas A&M University. It is a fanfiction based on Octavia Butler’s, “Speech Sounds,” an SFF short story first published in 1983. 

 

Critical Introduction

 If the person whom your heart yearns for is the one who could hurt you most, would you choose love or survival? This is a question that I wanted to explore for my final project. For my project, I chose to create a fan fiction using Octavia Butler’s “Speech Sounds” as a base text. I chose “Speech Sounds” because I felt that the world in which the story takes place is one of which I could grasp onto and base a story off of. I find that the beauty in short stories is that they lend themselves to be added on to. Therefore, I wrote “Written Silence” about how Rye’s husband must choose between his love for Valerie and his own safety in order to open the door for readers to see “Speech Sounds” through a new lens.   

I decided to name this piece “Written Silence” because I wanted to make it similar to the title of “Speech Sounds” so that readers would recognize the similarity, and I wanted the title to represent the limitations of Valerie that ignites conflict. Since Valerie is now unable to read or write because of the effects of the disease, her most treasured form of expression has now been silenced. Also, I chose to not include dialogue because this piece is centered on the thoughts and memories of Valerie from her husband’s perspective. This is also the reason why I chose to use Valerie’s real name instead of her nickname “Rye”. Her husband would have most likely used her real name when referring to her.

If a reader then decides to reread Butler’s “Speech Sounds” and sees Valerie through the lens that I created, he or she may walk away with something entirely different.

In “Written Silence”, James, (Valerie’s husband), is struggling with decisions he made in order to save the lives of his children and care for his struggling wife. In “Speech Sounds”, Valerie believes that the disease is what killed her children. I noticed that the only time that Valerie mentions her family in the original text is when she mentions that the disease killed them. Therefore, I felt that this detail needed to be extended, and Valerie needed a deeper back story. I decided to tell the story from Valerie’s husband’s perspective because I felt that by looking at Valerie through his eyes, readers would get a better sense of how the disease affected her. In addition, by giving Valerie the “blackouts” and “aggressive outbursts”, I feel like I further added depth to Valerie’s character and challenged readers to view her a little differently while still aligning with details in the text. Technically, when reading this piece, the statement that the disease took Valerie’s husband and children from her is still accurate. It was the disease that caused James to send the children away, and it was the disease that made Valerie kill her husband.  If a reader then decides to reread Butler’s “Speech Sounds” and sees Valerie through the lens that I created, he or she may walk away with something entirely different.

In addition, I decided to set my work in a time slightly before when “Speech Sounds” begins. I was inspired by how Octavia Butler tends to throw readers straight into the action, and readers are left to piece together the context of the story. Therefore, I decided that I would also begin my piece in media res. Because of this, I had to further analyze Butler’s writing techniques in order to make my story clear to the reader. By using flashbacks, I put the pieces of context back together for the reader by slowly revealing details a little at a time. I was particularly interested in the method used by Butler because it creates suspense and draws interest. So while at the beginning of the story, the reader may be confused as to why the tombs in the ground are empty, by the end the answer will be revealed. Additionally, I knew that readers of “Speech Sounds” would already be aware that Valerie was no longer with her family, so I needed to create a way to make the situation more dramatic. Therefore, by using the slow reveal strategy, readers are given time to reflect on the additions I made to the story.     

While this piece is a work of fiction, and its primary function is to entertain, I intend for readers to walk away questioning what he or she would do for family and love. In extreme circumstances, it is hard to say where one’s allegiance would lie. This is why I feel that it is an interesting topic to explore. It really forces the reader to put his or herself into the shoes of the character and make a difficult choice. I have always found it amazing that, in many cases, familial ties are often stronger than one’s own desire to survive. In times of struggle, the unselfish decision to put the needs of others first is something to be admired. In this case, James put the safety of his children and the love for his wife above his own well being. Therefore, by making readers think about this uncomfortable decision, I am asking readers to evaluate the strength of love versus the desire of survival.

The intended audience for this piece would be readers who are college age and older and those who are familiar with Butler’s work. While this piece could technically be a story on its own, I feel that the reader will be much more engaged and will understand more if he or she has read “Speech Sounds”. A reader that is familiar with Butler will expect to be thrown into the middle of a world they are uncomfortable with, and he or she will anticipate some form of other worldly circumstance, (in this case the disease). Therefore, I catered to the expectations of readers by providing elements that would still feel like a Butler story while adding my own changes in to alter the way the reader might view “Speech Sounds”.

 

“Written Silence”

I held her tightly as she cried and kneeled over fresh dirt that covered the tiny tombs. Tombs should never be that small, but it was a good thing that they were empty. Although, she would never know that – she couldn’t.

Sending our children away was the most difficult thing I’ve ever had to do in my life, but I knew that I made the right decision. They were struggling to keep their abilities a secret, and Valerie was struggling to contain her aggression. I knew it wasn’t her fault.

While she was fortunate enough to still be able to speak and understand speech, the disease took away her greatest love – literature.  I, on the other hand, had yet to be affected by this disease. There were days when I could feel myself slip into angry fits or struggle to form coherent sentences, but I still had the strength to restrain the symptoms from pulling me over the edge.

I gently pulled Valerie off of her knees and led her into our small three bedroom house. The third bedroom would now be permanently locked since there wasn’t a need for it anymore, and it would only provoke sadness. I watched Valerie walk slowly as she passed the door. She paused when she heard the fan still humming in the room. As though by natural instinct, she reached for the doorknob but stopped once she felt the cold metal hit her fingertips. She turned back around and walked into her bedroom that we once used to share. How could I have done this to her?

It took every ounce of strength that I had left to keep myself from comforting her as she slept. I knew that she still needed me here, so I had to keep my distance in order to stay alive. I used to be able to tell when her aggression was building up, and I would instruct the children to go into the crawl space located in Winnie’s closet while I guarded the door until she calmed down.

The first time she had an outburst was when she caught Andy flipping through the pages of one of her old history textbooks. He used to love the pictures of the old paintings. He said that one day he would travel back in time to fight in the American Revolution so that he could be the hero and the first president. That boy’s imagination was his greatest gift because even for a brief second, it allowed him to escape the hell that the world was turning into.  He had just started first grade and his reading skills had began to improve, so he would grab the books with the “hero pictures” and try to sound out the words.

It was two weeks after Valerie had lost her ability to read and write, and she was struggling to cope with her new life and limitations when she saw him. She ripped the book from his small boyish hands that still had dirt under the fingernails from climbing trees all afternoon, and she started tearing out the pages one by one. The frightened look on Andy’s face and the sound of Winnie whimpering behind me as she clung to my leg was what let me know that after this moment, our family would never be the same.

The Valerie that I fell in love with was slowly chipping away. I told Andy and Winnie that it was the disease’s fault, not their mother’s, but they could never look at their mother without fear again. It wasn’t her fault.

After that, she would be triggered by the sight of someone reading, the sound of a pen on paper,  or the feeling of paper between her fingers as she turned a page of yet another book that she would never be able to read again. If I could trade places with her, I would in a heartbeat. Nothing I do now can ease her pain. I just clean up and burn the torn pages after she has finished her rampage.

I know this is not her fault.

I expect to hear cussing, screaming, and the familiar sound of her beautiful books being ripped apart, but there was nothing.

Silence.

The silence was even more deafening than the usual screams. I always knew when the screaming would end when she returned to me, but the silence…

The outbursts usually lasted anywhere from one hour to five. Then, she would glide back into the room with that gentle smile on her face, and she would be my wife again. She would be Winnie and Andy’s mother again. She would be Valerie again.

But she could never really be Valerie. Valerie loved being a professor and sharing her love of learning with her students. She would come home after a long day of work, pick up one of her millions of books, and continue her research. I could see the exhaustion taking a toll on her, but whenever I would ask why she wouldn’t just come to bed, she would look up at me with those youthful eyes and a tired smile. Her silent response would let me know that she wouldn’t be coming to bed anytime soon. 

What does this silent response mean?

I feel the frustration and aggression begin to seep into me. The disease found me in a moment of weakness, and now it wants to take over. I can’t let it take me. I can’t. Valerie needs me to protect her from the others. To protect her from herself.

 I kick over the stack of books in the hall to release some of the anger. Maybe if I give in a little, I’ll regain my strength. These damn books. In this moment, I hate all of these damn books.

Our first fight after we got married was over these damn books. I couldn’t stand all of the books piled up all over the house. I begin to feel like these books were the walls closing in on me and suffocating me with all of the new challenges that come with marriage. I wanted them gone. Or at least on a bookshelf in a designated room. I had even offered to give up my home office so that she could have a library. No. She never gave me a clear reason as to why we had to have them stacked up all over the house.  Then one night, I went in the kitchen to get a glass of water, and I overheard a conversation she was having with her mother on the phone. Her dad wasn’t doing well. Apparently he didn’t have much time left. Valerie hung up the phone, and I could hear her breathing begin to grow faster, shorter, and more panicked. Then, with tears in her eyes, I watched her pick up the first book she laid her eyes on , and she began to read. I then understood that her books are what kept her sane. In all of the craziness going on in the world, her books are what brought her back down to earth.

I never complained about the books again.

I can’t control myself anymore.   I pick up a stack of books and slam them to the ground. I make as much noise as possible in order to drown out the silence. The silence leaves me feeling empty and useless. It mimics the way she feels now that she is unable to express herself through her beloved writing.

When Valerie lost her ability to read and write, my first instinct was to get rid of the books. I knew that seeing them every day would remind her of her limitations and possibly provoke her aggression.  But Valerie insisted on keeping them. She wanted the children to still be able to enjoy the beauty of literature even though she would never be able to again. I complied with her wishes, but after every outburst, more and more books were destroyed.

When she would come out of the aggression, she would never remember what happened. It was almost as if she would blackout each time it happened.  I would tell her it was me. I would lie and say that the disease had caused me to do it and that I was so sorry. She would hold me and reassure me that it wasn’t my fault.

It wasn’t her fault.

It’s not her fault.

This is not her fault.

She was aware of her blackouts, but she was convinced that that was all they were. Blackouts. Sometimes I would tell her that she had been asleep for days, when it had only been hours.

This is how I was able to save the children.

A few days ago, I heard the all too familiar sound of screams and tears, so I knew this was the time. I had been planning this for months, and I had to execute the plan now or it would be too late. I gathered the children, told them to grab their “go pack” that they had prepared a few weeks earlier, and got in the car to speed to Pasadena.

Valerie’s brother lived in Pasadena, and he was in on the plan. He would protect and raise the children until Valerie could gain better control of herself, and when we decide it is safe. I told the children I loved them, and I drove home as fast as I could so that Valerie would not be suspicious. Tears were racing down my cheeks, and I could barely focus on the road.

What if I would never see my children again?

I got home just as Valerie was coming to her senses. With my face still flushed, and tears still on my face, I explained to her that the disease had killed the children while she was asleep. No, there were no symptoms. It was very sudden and unexpected. I told her that I had already buried the children if she wanted to go to the backyard to say goodbye.

Silence.

How could she not say anything?

How could she not come in to check on me while I’m destroying the living room where we used to play board games and read stories to the children? I could be being attacked by one of the dangerous neighbors right now, but she wasn’t coming to my aid.

It wasn’t her fault.

 It is not her fault.

  I scream Valerie’s name. I scream for Winnie. I scream for Andy. I scream for the life we once had, but now nothing will ever be the same. I collapse on the floor in a heap of defeat. Maybe the disease really was starting to infect me. I have to fight. I remind myself of the day I met Valerie.

It was my first day at the boring office job that I held for 15 years. I was an accountant for a local printer company, and I actually enjoyed my unexciting job. When words would fail me and not make sense, numbers always did. There was always and equation or formula that could solve the problem.

Valerie was my complete opposite.

I was sweating while trying to withstand the Los Angeles heat and walk to work in my suit and tie when I saw her. She was sitting on a bench, completely content with a book in her lap. She was the most beautiful and captivating thing I had ever seen. Her hair was long and flowed in the summer breeze along with the skirt of her cotton dress. She looked up and caught my stare. Instead of calling me out or turning away, she gazed at me with those youthful eyes and smiled.  I knew in that moment that I would marry her someday.

I was still lying on the floor when I heard movement. There was the sound of rustling from someone walking through the scattered pages on the floor. I closed my eyes and imagined it was Valerie in her cotton dress and flowing hair walking through the leaves on an autumn day. The air crisp as we take a stroll through the park and gaze up at the sky through the red and yellow trees.

At least the silence was gone. I hear muttering, but I can’t make out what she is saying. I still don’t feel strong enough to get up off of the kitchen floor. I don’t trust myself either. What if I become aggressive again? Now that Valerie was up, she might walk in, and I might…

No. I will not allow myself to think about that. If I imagine it, the disease may take over and carry it out.

No.

I roll over on the cool tile floor and see a small stack of books that had been left unharmed. I scan the titles to see if I find one that peaks my interest. Then I lay my eyes on Valerie’s diary.

I hadn’t seen it in so long. The first year we were married, she would write in it every single night. I always wondered what she had written about me. Or if she had written about me at all. Maybe I wasn’t interesting enough to be “diary worthy”.

I decide to try Valerie’s trick, and I carefully pull the diary from the stack. Even though Valerie was still in her room, I felt a slight sense of guilt from touching the diary. I had never seen it up close before, let alone held it in my hands. Maybe reading will ease my anxiety like it always had for Valerie. I turn the book over in my hands to feel the worn leather and unwrap the string that held together all of Valerie’s most personal thoughts and feelings. I slowly open the diary and read the first words written on the inside cover:

Dear James,

I hear a loud thud coming from behind Valerie’s door followed by an ear-shattering scream.  I am suddenly filled with so much confusion and fear all at the same time.

Why was the diary addressed to me? That’s not usually how diaries work.

Then all returned back to silence. I should probably go check in on Valerie. But I had to read this diary. It might be my only chance.

I reopen the leather book to begin reading again, but I am only able to read two more words before the painful shriek begins again:

I’m sorry.

‘I’m sorry’? For what? What did she have to be sorry for? The disease hadn’t even started yet when she began this diary.

I check again to see if I can find the date. I see the last word:

Goodbye.

Then underneath that word, I see the date. It was marked with today’s date.

I rush to Valerie’s door to ask her what this means, but as I open the door, I feel a sharp pain in the back of my head. I turn to see Valerie with a large textbook in her hands and an angry look in her eyes. It was the same textbook that Andy used to love to read. The one with all of the pictures.

This wasn’t Valerie. This was the disease.

I feel the force of another blow hit me again, and I brace myself for the inevitable. She won’t understand when she wakes up. She will assume that one of the neighbors must have broken in.

As I feel myself growing weaker from the blows, and I wonder if I should fight back with what little strength I have left. But I know that if I start, I won’t be able to stop. The disease will kick in. I know that this isn’t Valerie. But if I hurt this diseased, angry being, I hurt her. I think of Winnie and Andy. Maybe I should’ve left with the children. But I couldn’t do that to her. I love her.

This is not her fault.


Copyright 2018 Ashlee Havlak